Slowplaying the Poop Card

Today we considered not taking Babe-O to her swim lesson, as she had been a little under the weather today. She said she was up to it, though, and seemed good when it was about time to leave, so I went for it.

She was a little subdued during the lesson, but all in all did pretty well, until we got to about the last two minutes. She started fussing more and more and then finally blurted out the universal battle cry of kids that need to get the hell out of the pool: "poooooop!"

I excused us from the somewhat maddening end-of-lesson song and bolted for the men's locker room (no toilet in the family changing area where we usually go).

That meant running Babe-O through the YMCA naked old man gauntlet, which I imagine was a little traumatizing for her (let alone me). And why is it that old guys feel the need to use such an unholy amount of soap when they shower? They always look like giant liver spotted Santa heads with their huge nipple eyes shooting you sideways glances as you go by.

Anyway, we made our way to the one toilet in the place and as soon as I opened the door, Babe-O started shouting "no, no, no!" Long story short: not happening.

So we made our way back through Saggy Alley, where I'm pretty sure we saw Fidel Castro, and back out to the pool area. The lesson was wrapping up and it was pretty clear that time could become a factor on the poop issue, so we grabbed our gear and headed right to the family changing rooms.

By the way, the family changing area is just a closet with a stall mat on the floor. There are chairs there about a third of the time, but people steal them to sit in and read, which I only just realized in the last thirty seconds as I type this. Bastards!

Once Babe-O was stripped down, we figured out that we'd forgotten to pack a dry diaper. It seemed we were doubling down on the urgency of the pending poop. Luckily, Babe-O Commando managed to make it home without incident.

Now she's sleeping. And come to think of it, that poop never did materialize.

Either the morning is going to be ugly or she was just slowplaying the poop card to get out of the swimming song.